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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Ebooks to Help You Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie fans, this post is for you.

I'm not sure if we'll have working electrical outlets for charging our kindles after the Zombie Apocalypse, so if you buy any of these ebooks, you may want to print them out for post-apocalyptic reference. Or just read them now and have a good chuckle...

In this outrageous parody of a survival guide, Saturday Night Live staff writer Brooks prepares humanity for its eventual battle with zombies. One would expect the son of Mel Brooks to have a genetic predisposition to humor, and indeed, he does, and he exhibits it relentlessly here: he outlines virtually every possible zombie-human encounter, drafts detailed plans for defense and attack and outlines past recorded attacks dating from 60,000 B.C. to 2002. In planning for that catastrophic day when "the dead rise," Brooks urges readers to get to know themselves, their bodies, their weaponry, their surroundings and, just in case, their escape routes. Some of the book's more amusing aspects are the laughable analyses Brooks proposes on all aspects of zombiehood, and the specificity with which he enumerates the necessary actions for survival-i.e., a member of an anti-zombie team must be sure to have with him at all times two emergency flares, a signaling mirror, daily rations, a personal mess kit and two pairs of socks. Comic, though unnecessarily exhaustive, this is a good bet for Halloween gag gifts and fans of Bored of the Rings-esque humor. 100 line drawings.

Meticulously researched and vigorously detailed this important survival manual is the most detailed and up-to-date book you will find to keep you and your family safe during the Zompoc (Zombie Apocalypse). This book is unique in its coverage of all Zombie strains from the viral infected fast zombies through to the shambling re-animated undead. All subjects from zombie identification, first-aid, escape techniques, household defense, combat techniques and raiding through to bartering, supplies, vehicle modification, weapons and convoy structure are all covered in great detail. With this book you can prepare for the day the Zompoc strikes and be ready to fight back and eradicate the Zombie menace from our streets. This book is illustrated throughout and even contains full plans and instructions for a post-Zompoc rebuilding of civilization!

The sequel to the bestselling Zompoc: How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse.

How do you fight a zombie if you are armed with only a shovel and are being pursued down a street? How can you raise a body of like minded individuals to defend your territory or to expand during the Zompoc? What is the Zompoc and what is a zombie?

This book was written to answer these questions and much more. Many books recommend particular weapon types but they are always described by those with no experience of these items. As well as providing information we think is important we also offer more specific advice and guidance based upon the many questions we received from the readers of our first book.

The "Zombie" Apocalypse is coming. It's not "if" it's "when", and if you think you are going to be one of the brave survivors you see in the movies and video games or read about in books and graphic novels you are sadly mistaken. You know who I mean, the handsome and tough hero who was a Navy Seal that women love and men want to be. Or the beautiful, big breasted, brilliant heroine with a PhD in "Science". You aren't even the wisecracking sidekick who lives to defend the heroes. You are a regular person, an everyman. Just as I was before I created this fully illustrated guidebook. So face it, the odds are much more in favor of you becoming one of the undead. A ghoul. A Dead. A "Zombie".

But don't worry, there is hope...

There you go: all the ebooks you need to acquire a proper education on the Zombie Apocalypse. While Gerald Celente hasn't mentioned zombies yet in his predictions of doom and gloom, I'm sure it's only a matter of time.... 

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